awareness through movement

Foundations

feldemoves awareness through movement April 26, 2023 Leave a reply

A friend of mine has just bought a fixer-upper, in a great location. Some people thinks she’s gone a bit crazy. But this move is largely in response to a tragic event in her life last year. Of course the first thing she did was to get the building inspector to check the foundations. Life-changing events can make us question our values, shed our skin and start something new.

Excessiveness, expansion can occur in times of ease or abundance. I remember a time in my life which was abundant. Its lovely to have enough, don’t get me wrong, but I became a lavish shopaholic. I feel like those times were not meant to last…

After my divorce settlement I went from being comfortable to struggling financially. I remember selling my Omega ladies 9ct gold watch at the pawn shop (now do you believe me about being a shopaholic). I cut down on memberships and had to juggle bills and work out how to feed my daughter on $10 a day.

So when constraints are put in place we have to adapt, sometimes creatively. These constraints, either chosen or placed on us can be limited space, time or money. This is not a new idea but it has been called `stretching’, being resourceful, using what you have, rather than `chasing’ for more, or being excessive. Chasing vs stretching has been coined by Scott Sonenshein. Stretching is seen as a better way to live than chasing, better for the environment, cheaper and more satisfying.

Drew and I are moving into a much smaller space. The studio space at the back of our house is being converted into a 1 bedroom apartment. I have been culling household items whilst learning about Marketplace. We have found a miniature versions of kitchen goods. Yes there is such a thing as a 45cm wide dishwasher. I am learning how to stretch rather than chase. I do think humans thrive when we have to adapt. I will let you know how we go sharing a 60m2 space.

In Australia consumer spending and excess has slowed after 10 successive interest rate rises (SMH 28/4/23). I’m sorry for those doing it hard. If you are missing your Feldenkrais 1:1 sessions because you have had to tighten your belt, I have a new series coming up- 10 weeks of classes which are very affordable.

We will be exploring our earliest movements, your own foundations. It’s a bit like checking under your own house to see if some gentle restumping is in order. This is `stretching’ not `chasing’ I assure you! I have taught this series before. It is a grounding re-examination, an immersive journey. You will lie like a baby, roll into sitting and even do some crawling. If you look at babies they have long backs with no tension, they are flexible and curious. That will be you!

Re-explore your earliest movements: Feldenkrais Method®

We are born as curious explorers filled with a sense of potential. We literally feel our way through the essential steps of development. The Feldenkrais Method approach helps to rejuvenate those early learning skills, using unique movement sequences to improve awareness, unravel harmful habits and regulate your nervous system.

This 10 week `Awareness through movement®’ series explores the earliest movements of life and the unfolding of developmental processes which lead from one function to the next such as:

·      Baby pose to rolling

·      Rolling to sitting

·      Sitting to crawling

You will be guided through these lessons which encourage somatic awareness, curiosity and fun!

This series runs for 10 weeks

May 2- July 4

Tuesdays 6:00-7:00pm

The 10 week block costs $170.

The Fourth Floor Level 4/65 Murray St

https://thefourthfloor.punchpass.com/classes/12933304

Self-compassion essentials: finding self-worth that lasts

How to bring more self-compassion into your life

We have all got an inner critic. Sometimes it grabs the wheel and won’t let go.  But you can become the driver by learning how to attend to your mind, calm down your body’s stress responses and live according to your values. How? There are a range of ways. Here are some that I have found work well.

 

Meeting your inner critic

We are so conditioned to be critical of ourselves. Particularly women. And there is trillions of dollars riding on this. La Prarie of Switzerland sells an anti-aging face treatment – called Haute-Rejuvenatation Protocol. It’s $2,915 for 24mls. Apart from the price tag, the bad news is that research has shown that when you criticise yourself you are triggering the fight/flight or sympathetic response in your nervous system which sends the stress hormone cortisol into your blood (Kristina Neff). 

Chogyam Trungpa, a Tibetan monk that went to America in the 1970’s said a lot of chaos happens in the world simply because people don’t appreciate themselves. We have a myth in society that we must be hard on ourselves to get things done. But rather than motivating us, self-criticism can shut us down, depress us and even cause us to self-sabotage and not reach for our goals. I remember one morning recently I was planning on heading to the gym. I weighed myself and the scales went in the wrong direction. Instead of a logical response, which would include a usual gym session, the reactive thought was I’m not going now. My inner critic almost dragged me down that day, encouraging me to give up. 

Self worth vs Self compassion

If we are  in a position to successfully navigate mainstream norms we can gain self-worth,  a highly valued quality in society. Self-worth is often associated with self-confidence, competition and comparison. It’s  measured by being hard-working, successful at work, attractive and wealthy.  But there is a risky element to measuring ourselves against these external expectations.  Life is impermanent and it is possible you  will lose sporting prowess, your job, your wealth, your motivation, your looks. Research has also shown that comparison to others whom you perceive are doing better can lower your self-esteem. One study showed  some individuals who struggle with identity are more prone to comparison on social media platforms, and construct a false-self which increases emotional difficulties (Bergargna and Tartaglia). There are ways we can create a more long-lasting or meaningful  happiness.

Values

Many of us would agree that having comfort, pleasure, security and good health brings some happiness. But values are more personal. How important are  things like personal freedom, helping others or personal fitness to you? Our values profile helps us understand exactly what makes us unique and gives you a clearer pathway to follow in your life. Values come from within the individual rather than socially acceptable ideas of what we should aspire to. There are online tests to help us understand exactly what our core values are. Acceptance Commitment Therapy is a form of psychology which says values are at the heart of finding happiness. 

 

Self-compassion

When we are moving towards our values we are being more self-compassionate or understanding of ourselves and needs.  If your core value is family and you are lashing out at your loved ones on a regular basis you are moving away from your values and everyone is unhappy.  If your core value is personal development and you are doing 20 hours overtime a week in a stressful job without a moment for yourself.  You would not be honouring your values and needs and therefore not being self-compassionate.

Prioritising

Could you carve out a free hour a day?  Because once you know your values, you know which direction you need to head in. Nate Terrel in his book `Achieving self-compassion: giving yourself the gifts of happiness and inner peace’ suggests that the happiest people have honed the skill of prioritising their  activities so they can spend maximum time doing fulfilling activities. So once you know what you want to do, you can choose to spend time moving towards those values that make you feel fulfilled and happy. Self-awareness gives you the choice to act in different ways.  Just being aware is the first liberating step.

 

The observer and the critic

Developing the ability to be the observer of one’s own thoughts is called metacognition. Terms like mindfulness and awareness have been used to death in recent years but this doesn’t make them any less significant. To really notice what is happening in our mind and body can assist us enormously. If we are not observing what’s happening in our mind, how can we meet the critic and catch those harsh words we might be receiving? How can we recognise when we are acting in alignment with our values and goals or not? If we are not mindful how can we practise a more gentle approach to ourselves? Most importantly we miss the sensations and potential of each moment where the only true happiness can lie.

 

Basic goodness

There are many Mindbody techniques such as yoga,  meditation, martial arts and Feldenkrais.  These methods ease your body into a physiological state different to the cortisol-fueled fight/flight state. They allow the self-observer to take the driver’s seat. This is an act of self-compassion. By relaxing into your parasympathetic rest/digest state you decrease your stress responses and are more likely to witness the basic goodness in yourself.  Philosophies such as Buddhism understand that  everyone has basic goodness.  If being fundamentally okay within ourselves was more common would fewer people strive for status or wealth  to prove self-worth? Perhaps it is the dissatisfied self-critic that causes the high-levels of stress and mental health issues  in our society.  Taking the drivers’ seat and having the self-awareness to live according to our values can  keep our self critic in-check. The knowledge and growth  that comes from calmness,  self-compassion and self-observation is not something that can be stripped away from us. It is dependable and will help to make your life happier which will filter out to loved ones and maybe further than you think.

What are some ways that you have been self-compassionate to yourself? How has this impacted on your life? It would be great to hear from you in the comments below.

 

Resources

Bergagna, E., & Tartaglia, S. (2018). Self-Esteem, Social Comparison, and Facebook Use. Europe’s journal of psychology, 14(4), 831–845. https://doi.org/10.5964/ejop.v14i4.1592

 

Russ Harris: ACT Made Simple An Easy-To-Read Primer on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

 

 Kristin Neff: The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive 2018

 

Kristin Neff:  Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive Hardcover coming in 28 September 2021

Chogyam Trungpa- Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior 1984

 

Do the `Pyschology Today Value Profile’ Test – 50 minutes